Two more strange experiences in the last few days leave me just as bewildered as before. After waking on Thursday and feeling a great sense of relief at knowing more about what was wrong and also feeling really energised and clear headed, I then slipped into the biggest panic attack of the lot around lunch time. No trigger really, just a slow headache coming on over about an hour that made me dizzy enough to have to lay down. But then comes the restlessness and the desire to somehow snap out of it that makes me impatient.
So from sofa to bed, bed to kitchen, warm drink, lay down, sit up, walk about...
Dizzier and dizzier I end up walking out of the flat down to the street, thinking I should be able to just walk it off, and then end up in the doctors surgery slumped over the reception desk asking to see a doctor urgently.
It felt like an age before one came to see me and as he walked me to his surgery he was already calming me and seemed certain pretty quickly that this was 'just' another anxiety episode. I rambled at him until things started to clear a little and he agreed that it may be best to treat me symptomatically now that we're nearing an actual diagnosis. So Beta Blockers are prescribed along with something to combat the dizziness and I'm given a cup of tea (you gotta love the English mindset) and told to sit in the waiting area until I feel well enough to go home.
Fair to say, everyone was very sympathetic and someone even went to the pharmacy to get my tablets for me and give me encouraging words as I waited for my head to land back on my shoulders again.
Scary stuff this anxiety... I had no idea the mind/body could do stuff like this without the introduction of psychotropics!
And the next day....
....I underestimated the need for food when going out walking! Yesterday I decided a slow 5 mile walk would be the thing to stop the body from getting too used to the feel of the leather sofa under it. Next time, eat more before you go out or take some food along! Good old lucozade though! No-one to blame but myself for that one! And I think it demonstrated that the beta blockers are doing their job pretty well too. Didn't like not being able to walk up a 5% gradient though.
Ho hum..
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